Am I Going Mad?

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 height="100%"><tr> <td valign="top" width=200 BGCOLOR="#FFCCFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <IMG SRC="050779d0.gif" border=0 width="119" height="157" ALT="Cruse Logo" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Greenwich Cruse</B></div> <div> <B>Site Navigation</B></div> <div> <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Greenwich Cruse"><U><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c800000000.png" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Home</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id34.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Helpline Opening Hours"><U><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c800000000.png" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Helpline Hours</U></A></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c899009900.png" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Am I Going Mad?</B></div> <div> <A HREF="about_us.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="About Us"><U><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c800000000.png" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">About Us</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="our_location.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Our Location"><U><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c800000000.png" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Our Location</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="making_contact.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Making Contact"><U><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c800000000.png" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Making Contact</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="how_we_work.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="How We Work"><U><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c800000000.png" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">How We Work</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="the_experience_of_bereavement_support.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Experience of Bereavement Support"><U><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c800000000.png" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">The Experience</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="training.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="TRAINING"><U><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c800000000.png" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Training</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="love_and_loss.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Colin Murray Parkes Love and Loss"><U><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c800000000.png" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Colin Murray Parkes</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="volunteers.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Volunteers"><U><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c800000000.png" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Volunteers</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="bereavement__counselling__support_and_information_links.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Bereavement, Counselling, Support and In"><U><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c800000000.png" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Links</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="national_helpline.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="NATIONAL HELPLINE"><U><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c800000000.png" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">National Helpline</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="friends_of_greenwich_cruse.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Friends of Greenwich Cruse"><U><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c800000000.png" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Donations</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="charlton_athletic_cafc_valley_addicks.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Charlton Athletic CAFC Valley Addicks"><U><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c800000000.png" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Fundraising News</U></A></div> </td> <td valign="top" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> Free Bereavement Support and Information for Residents of the London Borough of Greenwich</div> <div> Greenwich Cruse - Volunteers Helping You</div> <div> <B>020 8850 0505</B></div> <div> <A HREF="mailto:mail@greenwichcruse.co.uk" TARGET="_top" TITLE="mailto:mail@greenwichcruse.co.uk"><U><B>greenwich@cruse.org</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> Am I Going Mad?</div> <div> Each experience of bereavement is different.   There have been some worthy attempts to identify the sort of emotions and feelings people will experience following a death.  These make interesting reading but may be unhelpful when we are shattered by a death.  Death cannot be reduced to a set of logical or rational values.</div> <bR> <div> <I>`…in grief nothing stays put.  One keeps emerging from a phase, but it always recurs.  Round and round.  Everything repeats.  Am I going in circles, or dare I hope I am on a spiral?  But if a spiral, am I going up or down it?</I></div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> C.S.Lewis, A Grief Observed, London, Faber & Faber (1966:49)</div> <bR> <div> Nobody can prepare for the changes brought by the death of a loved one.  And many people are privately convinced that they are going mad in the weeks and months afterwards.  There are many reasons they feel this.  Maybe they become forgetful. Or they keep glimpsing the deceased in the street.  They wonder why the tears wont stop - or start.  Why do they keep feeling a desperate need to look for the dead person?  They worry that they have not 'got over it by now'.  Or perhaps that sleeping,eating or the enjoyment of simple pleasures have now become impossible.  The list could go on much further.  In fact, endlessly.</div> <bR> <div> We are creatures of habit, and when our stability is broken by bereavement we can expect to be very disorientated.  This is entirely normal.  It is likely to take time to find stability again.  During this time we will use a lot of emotional energy - grief is tiring - in searching for a new normality.</div> <div> The mind may be so distracted and exhausted by the impact of the loss, that our normal thinking processes are affected.  In a world where rationality and keeping control are central values the passion and power of our loss feelings can seem deeply disturbing.  And yet it is all absolutely natural.</div> <bR> <div> So you are not going mad.  Although grief is undoubtedly a 'normal' temporary disturbance of the balance of the emotions which can feel crazy.  These feelings should settle in time.</div> <bR> <div> Many people find it useful to use bereavement support when they are feeling overwhelmed by loss.  And because Cruse bereavement volunteers are impartial and will never disclose the content of sessions - except in confidential professional supervision - individuals can open their hearts and minds in complete safety.  They will not be judged or told what to do.</div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.nursing-standard.co.uk/archives/ns/vol18-45/pdfs/v18n45p4551.pdf" TARGET="_blank" TITLE="http://www.nursing-standard.co.uk/archiv"><U><B>CLICK HERE TO LINK TO AN ARTICLE ON 'GRIEF AND ITS MANIFESTATIONS'</B></U></A></div> <div> <I><B>Cruse is a very valuable support to our practice.  I extend my full support to your service.</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>Dr R</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>Eltham GP</B></I></div> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>